Emotional Investment

From The Write Practice, prompt is about emotional investment (http://thewritepractice.com/what-is-the-emotional-investment-in-your-stories/)


I can't believe this is actually happening. I've just been invited to join the game, and that's a first. Some of the boys play football during recess. I often stand off to the side and watch, but today is different. Kevin looked over at me and asked if I wanted to play. Does this mean I'm part of his group now?

Kevin has intimidated me for a long time. Not that he's trying to. I'm not sure he's known I existed until today. Kevin has a loud, commanding voice. The leather-looking jacket he wears adds to his swagger. Wherever you see him at school, he's in charge. That's completely foreign to me, and it's scary.

But maybe that's changed now. I walk onto the field and try to find the right place. The trouble is, I've watched football on TV, but have never actually played it. Not even a pick-up game like this. Since I'm on Kevin's team, maybe he'll tell me what to do.

Time for the first play. The other boys must assume I know what I'm doing. Bad idea. Kevin is our quarterback, of course, and he's getting ready to take the snap. I've seen this move on TV where one of the players runs behind the quarterback, then down the field. I decide to do that.

Kevin gets the ball and the play starts. I make my move, doing that cool end-run thing I've seen. Except Kevin doesn't know I'm going to do that, and I run smack into him. Fumble. Somebody on the other team dives on the ball, and it's all my fault.

And then it's over. Kevin shouts at me to get out of the game. I'm dismissed. If I mattered to him at all for a minute or two, I certainly don't now. Walking off the field, crying, I feel a crushing emptiness. Recess is far from over, and I'm alone. I find a quiet spot near the school building and wait for it to end. I wish someone had seen what had happened, someone would tell me it's okay. There's none of that, though, like it never happened. I feel small and insignificant.